The truth about arranged marriages

Does an arranged marriage sound like something old-fashioned and scary to you? Then you should know that such kinds of marriages are not gone and still remain an integral part of our society. No way — if that’s what you think right now, you will need to believe that even though we live in a democratic society, a certain percentage of couples still get married this way.

Yes, you can even witness a marriage organized by parents in the US nowadays even though it’s hard to imagine. If you don’t know what arranged marriages are and have no idea whether it has its advantages, check the information below and find it all out.

What is an arranged marriage?

Such marriages are the ones organized by your parents or someone else of your family. In such unions, men and women do not choose each other. Everything is done not according to their will. People often misunderstand and believe that an arranged marriage can be only with a billionaire when men and women get married for the sake of their material benefits.

However, it is not really true. Families, where parents have certain status, may organize the marriages of their children with brides or grooms from similar families. Until the end of the 18th century, such unions were normal for many counties, including Russia. In the USA, only families coming from other countries got married this way.

Countries where arranged marriages are still normal

arranged marriage versus love marriage

As mentioned above, arranged marriages were wide-spread in multiple countries until the end of the 18th century. Rich people simply could not allow their children to marry someone poor. Rich people had to raise their wealth and make their power even stronger. Such marriages were one of the best ways to do that.

India is one of those countries where over 90% of marriages are organized by parents even nowadays. In many Muslim corners of the world, such unions are still normal. People do not consider even other ways of getting married and do not know what it is like to choose their spouses in other ways.

The pros and cons of arranged marriages 

If you live in one of the most democratic countries and are used to always acting according to your own will, it is difficult for you to understand that an organized marriage may have its benefits. However, it still has them as well as its downsides and you need to know about both.

Can you imagine seeing your bride or groom for the first time in your life only on the day of your wedding? If you have seen that in movies only, you may need to find out why it is still happening. Find out the arranged marriage pros right now.

Low divorce rate

In India, more than 90% of marriages are still organized. It is unbelievable but true. Would you believe it when finding out that the divorce rate of these unions is lower than 1%? You might say people have no right to divorce there and just put up with their destiny. Maybe but the divorce rate of organized marriages all over the world is just around 4%.

Does it mean people are happy in such marriages? Probably, it does. The divorce rate of love marriages in the world is 51% nowadays. These are quite interesting statistics, aren’t they?

Almost all spouses claim to be happy in their marriages

The survey conducted among couples who had an arranged marriage showed that most of them are truly happy in their marriages. Of course, at first, it was very difficult to get used to the thought that you wake up near an almost unknown person every morning.

However, after they got to know each other, they managed to fall in love with their spouses. It is amazing, but probably their parents didn’t want anything bad for their children and chose very decent partners for them. It proves that our parents know well what we need and sometimes, maybe it’s necessary to listen to them.

Both partners are not very experienced in intimate life

arranged marriage pros and cons

You may consider it to be a huge drawback but people having an arranged marriage do not think so at all. Quite often, parents agree about their children’s weddings when those are little kids. As they grow up, both men and women know who their future spouses are.

They both have no experience in sexual life and this is not a problem but their biggest advantage. Such a marriage is pure and they are loyal to each other. Even if it seems unusual to you, it is the only possible way for such couples to have a relationship.

Happiness of both families

Love marriages are often accompanied by the disapproval of families, parents, and friends. Arranged marriages are never related to it. Both families that arrange marriage are happy with the union. The happiness of their family also depends on it. 

When people in a love marriage are told  all the time by their parents how unsatisfied they are, their relationship cannot be unaffected by it. Family conflicts are always bad for your union and sooner or later, they disturb the harmony.

Arranged marriage cons

Of course, it may seem that such unions are perfect compared to love marriages but they have their drawbacks, of course. The only disadvantage of such marriages is that you must marry someone you do not love or do not even know. 

Marrying someone against your will isn’t very pleasant and for many people, it seems a disaster. However, many people who had organized marriages confessed that time made them review their attitude. Thanks to the great attitude and qualities of their spouses, they managed to develop strong feelings and do not imagine anyone else by their sides.

This is a happy ending of such a relationship, however, there are cases when women needed to escape their homes and live without the support of their families because they didn’t want to marry someone they did not love.

Arranged marriage vs love marriage

arranged marriage countries

If you were asked what you feel of an arranged marriage versus a love marriage, you would definitely answer that you will pick a love marriage and by no means agree to have an organized marriage. We would say that you should not hurry with conclusions and see the differences between these two types of marriages:

  • The divorce rate in love marriages is 51% while that in arranged marriages hardly reaches 4%;
  • Arranged marriages never experience financial problems while 75% of love marriages break up because of them;
  • Over 30% of love marriages break up because of adultery while only less than 1% of arranged marriages end due to the same reason. 

As you can see, arranged marriages are not as bad as they may seem. Most couples who marry because of the will of their parents claim to be happy and manage to develop feelings throughout life while the passion and feelings in love unions are fading away with years and many families simply break up.

Organized marriages deserve their right to exist although for you it might not be clear how to live with someone you do not love. For those who were raised in such traditions, there is no other possible way of getting married. Thus, there is no tragedy, and people are completely satisfied with their partners.

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